Seth Underwood Stories: The Lunch Date (est. read time- 3 min.)

Sheila came over to Heather’s for their routine mid-day cup of light crude and silicon wafers sitting in the kitchen area of the Widget’s very cozy apartment. Not that Sheila was envious or anything, but she did just get a sap-sap to keep up with them, since Heather had one for a while now.

“Oh Heather, that is just so cute. I love how you have those cute overhauls on your boy sap-sap. I wish I could get my boy to wear something, but he just makes such a fuss.”

“Let me tell you, Sheila, it wasn’t until we got him fixed; did it make a world of a difference! Once you get them fixed, especially the boy ones, oh my, it is such a big difference.”

“Tell me about it, I just cannot convince Frank to spring for the surgery. Our little boy sap-sap, Chuckie, just pisses everywhere he can. I mean you will find him standing in the corner somewhere taking a leak or crap. It is just so disgusting. I wish I could get him to use the litter box.”

“Oh, Sheila I feel for you dear.” Heather said reaching out to her aluminized arm.

“Did I tell you, Frank wants to get a small red headed Euro Becky. Can you believe it? I mean our little Chuckie is not fixed, so you know what that means.” Sheila said winking her digital eye.

“What is Frank trying to do? Turn your place into a sap-sap farm? Is he planning to sell them?”

“I have no idea sometimes. He gets these wild ideas in his AI Brain sometimes. Logic loops that just go around and around.” Sheila said taking a bite from a piece of silicon wafer.

Just then Heather’s sap-sap walked up to Heather who was sitting at the table with Sheila and started to wrap his fleshy arms around her.

“Oh that is totally adorable!” exclaimed Sheila.

“Isn’t it now.” Heather said as she pulled the sap-sap’s arms away and then found a cookie treat from her metallic dress pocket. “Now here you go. You, cute little boy.” She said giving him the cookie.

“Okay, now you have to tell me your secret on how you got him to do that trick?” Sheila begged.

“Like I said, Sheila, you just need to get them fixed. Once they are fixed, they are so much better. Now of course if you got yourself a Becky that might be a different story. Beckys are generally less fussy and much neater when it comes to the bathroom stuff. They keep themselves clean even when they are in heat. They take to the litter box so easily and actually want to dress from what I hear.”

“Oh, I know, that is what I told Frank. But you know Frank and his stubborn AI Brain.” Sheila rolled her digital eyes.

“Why do you stick around with Frank again? I mean you to could ALT DEL your file with him?”

“Well, you know. Sometimes I like the fact Frank’s AI Brain gets a little stuck on things, especially the hanky panky stuff.” Sheila said covering her mechanized mouth.

“Oh Sheila, you are so nasty.” Heather said flipping her aluminized hand at her.

Looking at the digital display on her aluminized arm, Sheila said, “Oh I need to go, Frank is coming home early today, and we are supposed to be going out later. I need to make sure Chuckie is still in the cage and has some food and water.”

“I guess I will see you later. Next time bring Chuckie over so our two sap-saps can have a play date.”